STARS Members!
by shadowheartqueen
Summary: RE parody of the 'Ghostbusters' song.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything, so leave me alone you bloodsucking lawyers!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A/N: This was written by me, and ONLY me. This song parody is really stupid, so bear with me. I will not listen to any flames, so don't bother. R&R, Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
(music starts playing, think of the 'Ghostbusters' song. All the members from S.T.A.R.S. and other RE characters are in a big pavilion in Raccoon City. It is a dark and creepy night just like all the other freakin' nights. The whole thing is sorta like a music video, Chris is the lead singer with his own band full of random guys we don't know. All the rest of the RE characters are in an audience filled with other Raccoon City survivors. Chris is finally ready to sing, and much to our surprise, he ain't half bad! Everyone is jamming to the music.)  
  
All except Chris: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
Chris: If there's something undead in the neighborhood, who you gonna call?  
  
(Scene is shown where zombies are shuffling through the streets)  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
Chris: If it's something sick and it don't look good, who you gonna call?  
  
(Marvin Branaugh transforming to zombie)  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
(A little music break, during this time a bunch of zombies come out of nowhere and start break dancing)  
  
Chris: I ain't 'fraid of no zombie!  
  
(S.T.A.R.S. come in and mow down all the break dancing zombies with assault rifles)  
  
Chris: I ain't 'fraid of no zombie!  
  
(Another stinkin' music break, the camera pans down on Chris and his band)  
  
Chris: If you're seein' things trying to eat your head, who can you call?  
  
(Cerberus dogs are attacking Barry, one tries to chomp a chunk out of his head)  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!   
  
(Barry throws a tennis ball to the dogs, and they run off to fetch it like the stupid dogs they are, giving Barry a chance to run away.)  
  
Chris: A Nemesis-man sleeping in your bed, who you gonna call?  
  
(Jill walks in to her apartment to find Nemesis laying on her bed. He beckons to her seductively)  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
(She runs for dear life.)  
  
(Another stupid music break, the break dancing zombies are lying dead on the ground. One starts to move)  
  
Chris: I ain't 'fraid of no zombie!  
  
(Claire walks over, she nudges the moving zombie to see if it is really dead. It tries to grab her foot, so she shoots it in the head.)  
  
Chris: I ain't 'fraid of no zombie!  
  
(Another stupid music break, camera pans across the audience, showing the tops of their heads. Camera pans onto Chris onstage)  
  
Chris: Who you gonna call?  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
Chris: If you hear a moan, pick up the phone, and call...  
  
(Zombies are banging on someone's door, the owner of the house peeks outside and their eyes get wide with horror. They slowly reach for a phone, and dial.)  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
Chris: I ain't 'fraid of no zombie!  
  
Chris: I hear they like living girls!  
  
(Zombies that seem to have been formerly high-school football preps start going after Jill and Claire, and not just because they want to dine upon them...)  
  
Chris: I ain't 'fraid of no zombie!  
  
(Jill lobs a grenade at them while yelling "Die perverts!" They blow up)  
  
All: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!  
  
Chris: Who you gonna call?  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
Chris: If you get licked by a freaky chick, baby, you better call...  
  
(Shot of what seems to be a female licker licking Chris alluringly. We can tell it's female because it's wearing a saucy red dress, and it seems to have...you know...boobs.)  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
(Yet again, another stupid music break. Chris is still dancing around on stage and jumps into the crowd, he starts a mosh-pit. The audience accidentally carries Chris to a group of zombies which attempt to rip every piece of flesh from his bones. The rest of the S.T.A.R.S. run up to the undead group and slaughters them. They pick Chris up, who is okay.)   
  
Jill: Let us tell you somethin'  
  
All S.T.A.R.S. Members: SHOOTIN' MAKES US FEEL GOOD!!!!!  
  
(They all walk onto stage with Chris)  
  
Chris: I ain't 'fraid of no zombie!  
  
(They all start doing a teenybopper kinda dance that you would see the members of N'Sync do)   
  
Chris: I ain't 'fraid of no zombie!  
  
Chris: Don't get caught unarmed, oh no!  
  
(Rebecca is in a dark alley when she runs into Nemesis. She decides to fight instead of run, but when she pulls the trigger, a loud click is heard. She looks at her gun and then Nemesis, and runs away as fast as she can.)  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
Chris: If it bursts through your door, and unless you just want some gore, I think you better call...  
  
(Shot of Nemesis bursting through a door)  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
Chris: Who you gonna call?  
  
(Nemesis shows up, and the audience gasps.)   
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
(Nemesis makes his way to the stage, killing audience members on his way)  
  
Chris: Who you gonna call?  
  
(He runs onto the stage, killing some of Chris's band members)   
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
(S.T.A.R.S. team runs up trying to subdue Nemesis)  
  
Chris: I think you better call...  
  
(Nemesis starts throwing things at them, Chris is too busy singing to notice.)  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
Chris: Who you gonna call?  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
(They finally get rid of Nemesis, who runs away crying.)   
  
Chris: I can't hear you! Who you gonna call?  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
Chris: Louder!  
  
All: (very, very, VERY, loudly) S.T.A.R.S. MEMBERS!  
  
(The yelling has damaged some of the sound equipment. The speakers make a loud squeak, hurting everyone's ears, especially Chris's)   
  
Chris: (sings off key 'cause his ears still ringing) Who you gonna call?  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
(All is well and everyone is jamming to the music)  
  
Chris: Who can you call?  
  
All: S.T.A.R.S. Members!  
  
(Music and scene fades to black)  
  
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
  
  
A/N: Okay, that was weird, hoped you liked it. I know Rebecca shouldn't be fighting Nemesis, but hey, nothing has to make sense! If you like this one give me good reviews and maybe I'll make more if I can think of some other song make a parody out of. Adios! 


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